are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
