But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
