I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
