omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
only you would photoshop your dick
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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