I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
