Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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