No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
