I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
