this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
