...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
