that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
