there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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