Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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