Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
