that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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