That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
