i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
