shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
wow bdsm is so cute
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
