the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
