I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
