Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
