If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
they need to just BURY HIM!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
