I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
