i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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