so that wasnt chicken after all
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
