you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
