I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
