i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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