You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
