Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
