im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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