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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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