I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
