i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
