you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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