at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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