Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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