matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
