So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
