mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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