well most of my day revolves around power hour
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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