bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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