Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
