Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
