If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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