I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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