And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
