It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
