I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
