So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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