can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
